I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, even though I thought I was. They said it would be peaceful at the end, and maybe it was for Lily. But for me, the pain cut deeper than anything I could imagine. My little girl was gone, and I didn’t know how to make sense of a world without her in it.
It’s been a week since we laid her to rest. The days leading up to her death were a blur of hospital beds, whispered prayers, and the slow, cruel slipping away of her laughter. Today, we buried her, but it didn’t feel real. I moved through the funeral like a shadow of myself. Family and friends came, faces blurred by my tears.
“Ashley, I’m so sorry,” Aunt Ruth said, wrapping me in her arms. Her perfume was too strong. I didn’t want to be hugged. I just wanted Lily.
She was such a light,” someone else added. I nodded, but I couldn’t really hear them.
All I could think of was Lily’s laugh. How her little giggle could fill a room. I’d never hear it again. That thought crushed me more than anything. I wanted to scream, but no sound came out.
As people filtered out, offering their condolences, I just kept staring at the empty chair where Lily should’ve been. My body felt heavy, like I was dragging myself through mud, and my mind kept wandering back to her final days.
“Let me know if you need anything,” a voice said as I walked out of the cemetery. I nodded but didn’t respond. What could anyone do?
The drive home was silent. I couldn’t turn on the radio—music felt wrong, somehow. I just wanted quiet. The kind of quiet where you can pretend the world stopped with your grief.
When I pulled into the driveway, I wasn’t even sure how I got there. I sat in the car for a minute, staring at the house, trying to gather the energy to go inside. I didn’t want to face that empty space. Not without her.
But something stopped me before I could get out.
There, in the backyard, was a tent.
A huge, brightly colored tent. The kind you’d see at a circus. Red and yellow stripes, with little flags fluttering at the top. It didn’t make sense. My heart jumped into my throat.
“What… is that?” I whispered to myself.
I blinked, rubbed my eyes. Maybe I was hallucinating. Grief does strange things to people, right? I was exhausted and emotionally drained. But no, the tent was still there. Bold, bright, and out of place. It was like a splash of color in a black-and-white world.
I got out of the car slowly, my legs feeling like they might give way at any second. Who would put a tent in my yard? And on today, of all days? My head spun with questions. Was this some sort of prank? Or had I completely lost it?
I walked closer, every step feeling heavier than the last. The wind picked up, rustling the colorful flags on top of the tent. My heart pounded so hard I thought it might burst.
“This can’t be real,” I muttered, clenching my fists.
But it was real. As I got closer, I could see the details—the stitching on the fabric, the wooden stakes holding it in place. My mind raced. There was no note, no sign of who had put it there or why.
I reached out, my hand trembling as I touched the flap of the tent. It felt solid, real. My stomach twisted. I didn’t want to open it, but I had to know what was inside.
With a deep breath, I gripped the edge of the flap and pulled it open.
I opened it slowly, my breath shallow, heart racing. Inside, there was something bundled up in the middle of the space. For a second, my mind couldn’t make sense of it. It was wrapped in a blanket, small and still. My stomach twisted, and I couldn’t stop the flood of memories that hit me all at once.
Lily, lying in the hospital bed. So pale. So fragile. The tubes, the machines. I remember her tiny body swallowed by the blankets, the way she barely moved in those last few days. My knees nearly buckled under the weight of it all.
“No,” I whispered, my voice trembling. “No, not again…”
I took a step forward, my whole body shaking. The sight in front of me felt like another cruel joke, like the world was mocking me. Why today? Why now?
Suddenly, the bundle moved.
I gasped, freezing in place. My heart pounded so loud I could hear it in my ears. For a split second, I didn’t know what to do. My mind spun, expecting the worst, preparing for more pain.
But then, a small head popped out from under the blanket. A tiny Labrador puppy, its fur soft and golden like sunlight. It blinked up at me with wide, curious eyes, a pink bow tied around its neck. My breath caught in my throat. I stared, completely overwhelmed.
“What… what are you doing here?” I whispered, my voice cracking.
The puppy wiggled out of the blanket and stumbled toward me, wagging its little tail. It was so full of life, so innocent, a stark contrast to the grief that had consumed me for so long. I knelt down slowly, reaching out to touch the soft fur, still in disbelief. My fingers trembled as they brushed against the puppy’s coat, warm and alive.
Tears welled up in my eyes. “Why is there a puppy here? Who did this?” My voice broke, the confusion mixing with the heavy sadness I had carried all day.
As I stroked the puppy, I noticed something else—an envelope tucked under the blanket. My heart skipped a beat. With shaking hands, I picked it up and stared at it for a moment. The handwriting on the front was familiar. My breath hitched as I recognized it. Lily’s handwriting. Messy, but hers.
Tears blurred my vision as I carefully opened the envelope. Inside was a note, short and simple. My hands shook as I read the words.
Dear Mommy,
I know you’re sad because I had to go to heaven. But I wanted to leave you something to help you smile again. I asked Daddy to get you a puppy, so you’ll have someone to cuddle with when you’re missing me. Her name is Daisy, and she loves to play! Please take care of her for me. I’ll always be with you, watching from above. I love you so much.
Love, Lily.”
I dropped to my knees, clutching the note to my chest. The tears came in waves, and I couldn’t stop them. I cried harder than I had at the funeral. Harder than I had since the moment I knew I was losing her.
“Lily…” I sobbed, my voice barely a whisper.
Even in her final days, my sweet little girl had been thinking of me. She knew. She knew how much I’d miss her, how much it would hurt. And she found a way to make sure I wouldn’t be alone. A puppy. A new life to care for, to love.
I held Daisy close, the warmth of her little body grounding me in the moment. I could still feel Lily’s presence. The tent, the puppy—it was all part of her last gift to me. A way to remind me that even though she was gone, her love would always be with me.
The tent didn’t feel so strange anymore. It was a place for me to find Daisy, a place to feel connected to Lily one more time.
Over the next few days, Daisy became my shadow. She followed me everywhere, her tiny paws tapping on the floor as she scampered after me. At first, I didn’t know what to do. How could I care for this puppy when my heart was so shattered?
But Daisy didn’t give me much choice. She’d nuzzle into my side when I was curled up on the couch, licking my hand until I smiled through my tears. She’d bounce around with her little pink bow, full of energy and joy, reminding me of the brightness Lily used to bring.
Every morning, I’d sit with my coffee, Daisy at my feet, and I’d think of Lily. I’d imagine her watching over me, her smile still lighting up the sky. And every time Daisy curled up in my lap, I felt a piece of Lily’s love wrapping around me.
Daisy wasn’t a replacement. Nothing could ever replace my Lily. But she was a part of her. A living, breathing reminder of the love Lily left behind. Slowly, day by day, the weight on my chest lightened, just a little.
Taking care of Daisy pulled me out of the fog I’d been in. I had to get up, feed her, play with her. She needed me, just like Lily had known I’d need her.
Lily had given me one final gift: a reason to keep going. And even though the pain of losing her would never fully go away, I knew now that I wasn’t facing it alone.
